Sometimes I really feel sorry for myself. My mom calls them “Self-Pity Parties.”
Despite the fact that I’ve been in a long-term relationship for years, all of my family lives close by, and have a number good friends, I go through periods when I feel soul-achingly lonely.
And it usually happens when there’s something I really want to do and I can’t find a partner-in-crime who wants to join me.
I’ve probably missed out on a lot of things in my life for no other reason than I had no one to go with. Fortunately, I’m very good at convincing myself I never really wanted to go that bad in the first place, so I also normally get to live with few regrets.
But I used to be really good at not caring if there was someone else to go with, and I’m trying to bring that attitude back into my daily life. As someone who has introverted tendencies, it’s intimidating showing up to an unfamiliar place full of faces you don’t recognize. Sometimes, it can be really nice to have a safety-blanket-friend with you that you can latch onto so you don’t have to talk to other people. I am not very outgoing and I don’t want to small talk with anyone. EVER. I hate small talk. Although, I get that trying to be more friendly with people would probably improve the experience, sometimes I just can’t do it. And regardless of your introverted OR extroverted tendencies, it can be really hard stepping outside of your comfort zone. It’s called a comfort zone for a reason.
But the last two days I did it. I stepped out of my comfort zone, and I went to a singing boot camp hosted by Choir!Choir!Choir!
If you have never heard of Choir!Choir!Choir! check them out here – they are amazing and I would totally suggest going to one of their events if you ever have the chance. And since I had the chance, I went. As a part of the boot camp, I got to learn harmonies so that I could get onstage after a few hours of practice and sing infront of a couple of thousand people. The problem was that I didn’t know anyone who had the time and the willingness to do this, so I went alone. How often do you get the chance to sing onstage at a major venue? For me? Likely, never. So how could I pass that up? And it was so much fun.
And when it was finally time to perform at the concert, again, I had no one who could come with me so last minute. I hadn’t invited anyone in advance because I didn’t know if I would even get to sit in the audience. So again, I went alone.
And it was lonely.
But it was also amazing.
And I’m so glad I did it. I could have let that lonely feeling ruin my night. But I didn’t. Instead I got to do exactly what I wanted to do independently of anyone else’s schedule or interest or willingness.
And now I have another experience that I will never forget. Our experiences help define who we are. And I get to be someone who sang onstage at the Jubilee Auditorium.
Below is a little blurb and video to go with said blurb.
As a part of Canada 150, Calgary Folk Music Festival was honouring Canadian songs performed by established and emerging Canadian artists by hosting a free concert. Choir!Choir!Choir! was asked to come and do an interactive performance of Harvest Moon by Neil Young and Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen. Below isn’t the video of the concert I did (that one can be found on Choir!Choir!Choir’s Facebook page but embedding a Facebook video into WordPress seemed way too complicated) but this is one that they filmed with Rufus Wainwright – VERY similar to the version we did.