Two posts in two days – whaaaaaaat?
Apparently I’m stressed this week. And I tend to write more when I’m stressed. I have a lot of uncomfortable situations that are all unfolding at once and I don’t know if I’m dealing with them in the most healthy ways.
Yesterday I wrote about my frustration with one of my friends. But that was only one piece of the puzzle. I still need to have an awkward conversation with my mom tonight and tomorrow I get an update on some medical news I’ve been dreading. More on those in another post (maybe).
So while I managed to vent a little about my friend via blogging and thought I was in a better place post-vent, when I got home from work, a fuse that I thought wasn’t lit and had plenty of length, turned out to be incredibly short and seconds way from blowing shit up.
My boyfriend and I get along great. We seem to have very few fights, and the ones we do, we seem to be very good at solving or forgiving. But the worst ones come in moments of severe hanger.
Being stressed and failing to make any plans for dinner turned out to be a classic mistake.
I kept suggesting meal ideas and my boyfriend kept shooting my suggestions down. Finally, he came up with the idea that we should have tuna melts, which I was totally onboard with. But for whatever reason, he decided he wanted to be the one to make them. My boyfriend, while good intentioned, doesn’t always make the best meals. He sees individual ingredients but he definitely doesn’t see how these ingredients should go together. It’s because of this that we have ended up with meals like spaghetti topped with crushed tortilla chips and salsa… Good intentioned but not the best outcome.
So when he started pulling ingredients out we ended up arguing about basically nothing, which resulted in me throwing my hands up in the air, telling him “fuck you and your tuna melts!” and then storming off to our bedroom to watch Tasty videos on my phone.
I have no real excuse for this reaction and a couple of hours later I realized I needed to sort out my shit. Have you ever tried therapy writing? This is my go to when I need to sort out my feelings. I specifically follow a method called Proprioceptive Writing, which is similar to free writing but with a little more guidance and digging into what your thoughts and feelings mean. I love the process and always feel better afterwards (even if it’s only slightly). It’s nice to layer the logical side of the brain over the emotional side of the brain. I tend to only therapy write when I’m in an especially dark mood, even though it’s recommended that you do this as a daily practice, but it’s always there if I need it. It’s some very cheap and accessible therapy. And thirty minutes of therapy writing definitely helped me sort through all the reasons I’m feeling stressed and short tempered.
I had no real reason to freak out over tuna melts and in the end they were okay. Edible despite the fact my boyfriend decided to use Sriracha instead of mayonnaise to hold the tuna together. Edible, if not slightly ulcer inducing…