Haunted Numbers

In the dark

Under the bed

It’s there

Hiding

I know it’s there

And it knows all my fears

When I turn out the lights it taunts me

Haunts me

Teases me

Softly calling my name

What am I so afraid of?

I ignore it

But it can’t be ignored

I pretend it isn’t there

But it’s always there

I am shackled

A prisoner with no escape

During the day I think I am free

I can even forget

For a while…

But it will still be there

It’s always been there

Since I was too young

Waiting

Patiently

Because it knows I’ll come back

I always come back

I am afraid without it

Uncertain

I need it

I long for it

To be reunited and reassured

I will gaze trustingly into its unblinking eyes

Expectant

Hopeful

Trapped

Those neon blue eyes changing to numbers

Telling me how good I am

I will bask in its praise

I crave it

But it will not come

My hope is empty

Instead I am mocked

Not good enough

Would could love me?

Who could love this?

No one

But it will always be there

Reliable

Unwavering

Whenever I need it

When I am weak

It will show me the truth

And I will remain shackled

The scale never lies.

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